Strong aspects
· You have a range of creative ideas for what you want to do with your film opening by using split screen and still images.
· The music is appropriate
· There is nice use of images and graphics
· The effect of the page turn works well, possibly consider using an effect of having the photos dropping one on top of the other?
Things to improve
Editing
· The timing of the shots needs to be tightened up.
· Cut down on the shots – with the girls walking and talking
· The titles need to be completed and need to be tighter.
· You also need to have a production company at the start with the directors.
· You could add a ‘ripple effect’ when the main subject is daydreaming
· You need to go back to an establishing shot of the subject in the mirror once you have the close up of the lips otherwise this disorientates the viewer
· You could ‘hold the frame’ on the last shot of the girls together and then have is continue in motion.
Filming
· You need to consider re-shooting the hair brushing scene and using the voiceover.
Sound
· The audio levels are not clear where they are talking
· You cant here the voice over – you need to adjust these levels
· The music needs to be cut at beginning where the titles are.
· Use quick shots of the photo sequence, using flashes of white and sound effects of a photo camera.
· Consider having music and slow motion when the boy arrives and different sound effects to accentuate – look at Romeo & Juliet by Sam Mendes.
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